Aka: how to get an Asian girl to sleep with you.
Aka: the recipe that’s gonna make Sinosoul.com FAMOUS!
Aka: I’m smarter than Chowhounders.

Preface:
There are a lot of whores out there. I’m not talking about Nikki Benz, or Tila Nguyen (the pride of the Ameri-Vietnamese population?), I’m talking about carb whores. You know who you are. If there’s an intervention group on Facebook, I must not be making this shit up.

Asian girls are typically huge carb whores. Americans only have bread and pasta. Asians have access to bread, noodles and… wait for it.. RICE. They’re just bigger carb whores by birth. Just keep that plate of fries away from The Girl please, thanks.

Then there are the single guys out there who wanna bag Asian girls. *God bless you and good luck*. May you be Indian, Italian or Indo, below is a sure-fire recipe to getting your own carb whore into the sack.

Recipe for “Butter Milk” in Chinese courtesy of Flower Grass Garden.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup of non-fat powered milk
1/3 cup of granulated sugar, dial down for less sugary result.
1/3 cup of salted butter
1/2 egg yolk

2 slices of 1″-thick brick toast.

Margarine is actually a better substitute than butter as it melts much quicker into the bread, but a true carb whore will always drop her panties faster upon the smell of real butter.

Here comes the tough part: don’t use regular bread and don’t even think about doubling up Wonder Bread. I use dense toast found at Asian bakeries, may it be Japanese/Chinese or otherwise. The last time around, the source of brick toast was Domie’s Bakery in Rosemead. The cashier girl, knowing the ultimate purpose for said loaf, smiled wide & deftly sliced the 6″ loaf of bread into fours, resulting in slices that are 1.5″ thick. This is good. Girls like it thick, so they tell me.

Preheat toaster oven to 350 degrees F.

First, score the toast in a pound sign (#), marking the large toast slice into 9 squares. Make the incisions deep to allow better butter penetration.

Mix remaining ingredients in bowl with spatula, resulting in bechamel-esque paste below:

Split mixture evening into two portions, and spread evenly onto toast. Be sure to cover the edges so the tip of the crust won’t burn. Place into toaster oven for 6 minutes, or remove when sugary mix is lightly browned. Serve by drizzling chocolate sauce on top. Alternatively, almond slice can be placed on top of spread before baking.

This dish, is universally loved at Ten-Ren, Guppy Fish, and various other Asian Tea Houses. The version presented here is much more sophisticated, utilizing ingredients other than simply drizzled condensed milk and baking. It requires a bit of ratio supervision, as well as brûlée action, and results in simultaneous release of warm butter, eggs and caramelized sugar into the air. Instant panty dropper or your next round on me.

Attached is an unarousing video demonstrating the above recipe, in Chinese. The Taiwanese lady is a hoot:

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