Aka: how to get an Asian girl to sleep with you.
Aka: the recipe that’s gonna make Sinosoul.com FAMOUS!
Aka: I’m smarter than Chowhounders.

Preface:
There are a lot of whores out there. I’m not talking about Nikki Benz, or Tila Nguyen (the pride of the Ameri-Vietnamese population?), I’m talking about carb whores. You know who you are. If there’s an intervention group on Facebook, I must not be making this shit up.

Asian girls are typically huge carb whores. Americans only have bread and pasta. Asians have access to bread, noodles and… wait for it.. RICE. They’re just bigger carb whores by birth. Just keep that plate of fries away from The Girl please, thanks.

Then there are the single guys out there who wanna bag Asian girls. *God bless you and good luck*. May you be Indian, Italian or Indo, below is a sure-fire recipe to getting your own carb whore into the sack.

Recipe for “Butter Milk” in Chinese courtesy of Flower Grass Garden.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup of non-fat powered milk
1/3 cup of granulated sugar, dial down for less sugary result.
1/3 cup of salted butter
1/2 egg yolk

2 slices of 1″-thick brick toast.

Margarine is actually a better substitute than butter as it melts much quicker into the bread, but a true carb whore will always drop her panties faster upon the smell of real butter.

Here comes the tough part: don’t use regular bread and don’t even think about doubling up Wonder Bread. I use dense toast found at Asian bakeries, may it be Japanese/Chinese or otherwise. The last time around, the source of brick toast was Domie’s Bakery in Rosemead. The cashier girl, knowing the ultimate purpose for said loaf, smiled wide & deftly sliced the 6″ loaf of bread into fours, resulting in slices that are 1.5″ thick. This is good. Girls like it thick, so they tell me.

Preheat toaster oven to 350 degrees F.

First, score the toast in a pound sign (#), marking the large toast slice into 9 squares. Make the incisions deep to allow better butter penetration.

Mix remaining ingredients in bowl with spatula, resulting in bechamel-esque paste below:


Split mixture evening into two portions, and spread evenly onto toast. Be sure to cover the edges so the tip of the crust won’t burn. Place into toaster oven for 6 minutes, or remove when sugary mix is lightly browned. Serve by drizzling chocolate sauce on top. Alternatively, almond slice can be placed on top of spread before baking.

This dish is universally loved at Ten-Ren, Guppy Fish, and various other Asian Tea Houses. The version presented here is much more sophisticated, utilizing ingredients other than simply drizzled condensed milk and baking. It requires a bit of ratio supervision, as well as brûlée action, and results in simultaneous scents of warm butter, eggs and caramelized sugar in the air. Instant panty dropper or your next round on me.

Attached is an unarousing video demonstrating the above recipe, in Chinese. The Taiwanese lady is a hoot:

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  • http://www.MyLastBite.wordpress.com MyLastBite

    YOU ARE EVIL! This is the most beautiful bite I’ve seen all week!

  • TonyC

    Perhaps J, but I bet you say that to all the boys (chefs).

  • Joyce

    I’m afraid to RT this, Tony…I don’t want to have to face temptation at every turn now. SHEESH–think of us carbwhores before you go around posting info that lets everyone get the jump on us. :-p

  • http://www.MyLastBite.wordpress.com MyLastBite

    Damn you (LOL). I have a “no carbs at home” rule, and I’m home all weekend. : (

    Maybe I’ll drive to my sister’s house in San Dimas and cook this “for the kids”…

  • http://wanderingchopsticks.blogspot.com Wandering Chopsticks

    No way is Tila the pride of VNese-Ams. Egads!

    Hey, I never got the final version of this. But it will make you famous! That and your ice cream will make me balloon up like the blimp. Oh wait…

  • http://www.weezermonkey.com WeezerMonkey

    Best phrase in this post = “better butter penetration”

  • http://www.herbjankles.blogspot.com sawyer

    awesome and hilaroius post…craving for some now, but now i know how to make my own. pics look so damn good. thanks!

  • http://jpotit.blogspot.com/ tricerapops

    WM – i’ll see your ‘better butter penetration’ and raise you ‘but a true carb whore will always drop her panties faster upon the smell of real butter.’ as best line in the post.

  • http://www.nanciful.com Nanciful

    OMG…love the video! Make me miss Taiwan and my peoples. 奶酥麵包 is one of my favorite carbs! I like to pair it with cold 酸梅湯. It’s weird but good.

  • BooYa

    Nice attempt at humor but failing by falling flat on your face. Like you’ve ever bagged anyone. Your blog sucks.

  • http://theroamingbelly.blogspot.com bagnatic

    one word: FATASS. :0

  • http://www.taiwanfriendfinder.com sarah

    thanks for the simple yet mouth watering recipe ^^

  • http://blog.thethirstypig.com Thirsty Pig

    Very Nice! Video is even better! The peanut butter toast is my favorite

  • http://www.thelaterparade.blogspot.com jasmine

    nice post! i can smell the coconut toasting…yum

  • Deericious

    You are chauvinistic pig! I would hate you, except everything you say is true. :(

    Thanks for the recipe!

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  • http://receptite.co.cc recepti

    Could you say something more? Would be great.

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    Just wanted to say that you’ve some awesome content on your blog. If it’s OK I would like to use some of the information you provided on my website. If I link back to your web site would it be OK to do so?

  • http://www.ihop-coupons.org IHOP Coupons

    Thank you very much for the suggesting such a simple and yummy recipe.

  • Pingback: Thick Milk Toast « Sijia.ca()

  • Javier Cabral

    ha! I’m currently researching for this 75 restaurant SGV directory I’m writing and I stumble into THIS! Just made my night man. Didn’t know you had this daddy recipe foodblogger style in ya’ dood, cheers, stay prose.


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