Recently, I came upon this piece at My Jewish Learning while reading about the integration of Ashkenazim and Sephardic cuisine. Upon further research, the origin of the above piece was traced to an article by Lisa Keys in Forward Magazine circa 2003.
Basically, Ms. Keys is asking (or has been asking) the Jewish people to “chuck the cholent” and start doctoring up hummus. The Gorbals never got that memo and produced 1 of the silliest dishes of 2010: bacon wrapped matzah ball.
Barring the High Holidays… strike that, this is a discussion of bacon wrapped matzah balls, I don’t think the Biblia Hebraica was consulted during the menu creation at this downtown house of fusion worship… Matzah has multitude of applications when served in cracker form. Hummus on matzah works. Heck, prosciutto on matzah probably offends just as well. A dry chunk of matzah ball not found swimming in the proverbial chicken stock, blindfolded by a piece of bacon, then baked, produces an inimitable chunk of gag-inducing sickness that no gentile can possible love. That’s not all! It’s served with a side of “mustard aioli”. The amalgam, best put, has a mealy mushed center with horrible mouth feel, and the slide down gullet is assisted by errant mayonnaise. Think: baked matzah ball dipped in mayo for $5. Some stomachs will want to oust every bite of this nonsense out ASAP, from the top, or through the bottom.
Take a look at the video by LA’s own Jewish Journal below:
Is anyone actually convinced by the hostess’s contrived utterance of “it’s good”? A more appropriate final frame would be :
Disastrous Jewish “interpretations” roam aimlessly all over the menu. The GLT (Gribenes, lettuce, tomato)? Cold, dry, lifeless, married to overabundant tasteless iceberg and flavorless tomato. The Chinese understands the worthiness of schmaltz; it’s sad to see a proud half-Jewish chef muck up fried chicken skin. And what’s the obsession with green onion? Julienned, it is served as topping to 2 of the dishes orders (though it should’ve been 3, as the bacon matzoh was served incompletely plated). Green onions, perhaps as a punny way to fully integrate Chinese cooking into the menu (?), have also been spotted topping the pork confit, the beef tongue, the octopus, and it is also a stand alone dish (grilled green onions, romesco sauce $7).
That’s correct, seven dollars for grilled green onions. Even if the romesco was made from Spanish almonds, Italian pine nuts and first cold-pressed olive oil hand carried to LA from Greece, there is no way I, knowing 2 bundles of California grown green onions are available in Chinese supermarkets for $1, am paying $7 for a plate of this green. Therein lies the final problem: $50 and 2 pieces of dinky fried chicken ($14) later, 2 people left hungry, sober. $10 to buy the staff beers? How about $10 to buy us a beer instead? This stuff makes New York style Chinese food seem tasty.
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