Yesterday, Gawker “columnist” Hamilton Nolan went full retard in a piece countering some NYT Dining article which proclaimed the foodie trend as some of kind music movement. From the short, inflammatory, Gawker entry, there were some ornery gems:

You know who likes food? Everybody.

Fuck you, fresh-out-of-college food hunters. If you think The Meatball Shop is akin to Run DMC then I just don’t even know what to do with you, except to gaze at you in disgus

As a person who loves seeing foodtardism being cursed out in print, Nolan’s proclamation is just golden, except for the fact that he forgot to use the F word in front of “Everybody”.

Without touching on his campaign against “child foodies”, Nolan representation of those who like to eat (again, who doesn’t?), but not too much, is funny, but not very admirable. All is well, except he oafishly included Eddie Huang’s mug in his raging word vomit. [Edit: retrospectively, it a genius move!] Immediately Huang comes back blasting. He can claim not to wear “hooker boots” all he wants, but the first EP of his show is coming up in 3 days, and so the retort against Nolan naturally contained even more quotables.

Huang denies fooddouches have penetrated all of Manhattan (clearly false, as shown by NY Mag’s piece on Diane Chang earlier this year), and goes on to blame Yelpers. Really? Blaming Yelpers? Are we still in the last decade? Didn’t Nolan just deposit the fact that everyone likes food? Not just the yelpers? He exonerates Roy Choi from this food party gone awry and declares Andrew Zimmern respectable.

Andrew Zimmernman, respectable? The man who goes around the globe literally mocking every fucking culture’s culinary treasures as disgusting and bizarre?

Roy Choi? The dude who’s going veg before his manuscript is submitted to Bourdain publishing? Is this some kind of massive inside joke?

You know who’s Korean and vegetarian? Poor ass ajumas in Northwest Korea, close to the Chinese border, who are too goddamn poor to eat anything except kimchi and rice for lunch every day. How is that kind of PR shtick even remotely fucking funny? What is funny is as of Wednesday, everyone has forgotten the utterly nonsensical NY Times pieces. So props to Gawker, as usual, for the best uninformative dek of week. Again, new sensational media drove more traffic.

Non-sequitor: And why is Bourdain still going on and on about Baja? Are there mass murders in Tuscany? Used to instill absolute horror in the general populace so a rogue conglomerate can continue influence an entire economy? No. Until then, shut the hell up about Baja as the next foodiot tourism destination. No one (that is: anyone without a TV show & a handler) believes it, except Drew Barrymore.

Nonetheless, good luck on the show Mr. Huang! I hope it helps Baohaus stay open long enough so we Californians all eventually get to try this celebrity guabao!

NB: There is Shunji food pron in the waiting. Sorry for this vileness… Everyone is trying to get some PR driven traffic. In the meantime, please continue to Instagram all the pointless dinner photos, and the mommy bloggers will continue to feed their toddlers nothing but hormone-free organic grass-fed beef (shipped in from Uruguay) seasoned with smoked Himalayan sea salt.

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